married life guide

I am married now its 9 months after marriage, I am pregnant too. My husband started looking at a lady in work place even she also looks at him beyound that she is already married. When i go to there office my husband neglects me, she tooks advantage that my huby never likes me and she started becomming very close and making him fall in love, I wanted to know how can i control this happening, since its the starting stage and i don’t wanted to go to an extream situations, As my husband starting calling her name in the mid of the night and started thinking about her very often, I knew this based on his body language, He feel very restless when he comes home, and during weekends he feels so much uneasy he cannot sit or stand he wanted to lean on sofa and close with the blanket so that i don’t find him what he does inside the blanket, but when he goes for work he feels very happy, during work time he never attend my calls, never allows me to send mails. he comes home lately even though he knows i am pregnant he still don’t have any soft corner when he’s working. for that matter i care him so much, but still i don’t know why he does this. I cooks, massage his body, head, legs every day after work, have sex every day to satisfy, Looking at any women is common for men, but he should matain a distance when he knows that other women wanted to take advantage over it. Whenever i ask he gets so much agry he beats me, spits on me but still i care him and sleep with him. I look very prety than my huby thats what every one tells. As my situation we are married and the lady whose working in the same office now looking my husband is also married, which is very filthy when we think, I just wanted the lady to go away from my husband thoughts so that even she will not be cheating her husband , and i can also lead a peacful life. Pls guide me what i should do so that she stops liking my husband or tell me what i should do so that my husband stops looking at her.
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Hi I have been married now for 2 years.My husband takes care of me very well. I have no problems regarding that. But our sex life sucks. I am still a virgin after 2 years of marriage. I have tried talking to my partner many times telling how sex in a marriage keeps a relationship strong. But it never works out. I know he loves me very much but i feel he doesn’t know how to have sex. Can anybody guide me in the right direction as to how i can help him. He is 33 years old & i am 30 years old . Are there any sex counselors who can help me with this? If yes hope u could give me their contact info/ph numbers preferably in the Bay area,CA. Or are there any websites/videos which is available in the net so that he can watch & get some ideas. If there are any books/movies which can help him then please let me know.
Thank you very much for your time & response.
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we have just remarried in feb of 07 i don’t know what to do anymore i have tried everything possible to get him in the mood. i am at the end of my rope with this marriage . i don’t want to cheat on him because, i am save and i try to live a christen life , i am a very beauitful black woman, i work hard everyday and take good care of our home i dress nice and smell nice i make sure i go to the hairdresser every week. lknow that he is not cheatting because he never goes anywhere much if , i goes anywhere he is calling home constantly. when he is all he does is sleep or if he is not sleeping he is in that stupid barn in the back yard. i check on him constantly to see what he is doing out there which is nothing but talking to guy friends. we love each other very much but, we just don’t make love to each other we don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore because i have just given up. men are always hitting on me and sometimes i really would love to see what they are holding but, i love my husband and i feel maybe something will change i have asked him questions is it me because he makes me feel as though i am ugly or something is very wrong with me but when i go to work or drive beside another at a stop light men are always trying to ask me for my number or a date even white men give me comments on my skin or my beauty and when i hear someone say how beauitful i am as a black woman. it lifts my spirit i am 51 and proud to have reached this age and be beauitful. I pray and ask god everynight to strenthen me and husband because we need his strenth and guide. it is hard in these times not to cheat. my husband was shot in 2005 in the stomach and has had eight orperations sometimes i think this has a lot to do with what is going on with him. He has gained so much weight he weights over 200 pounds now when we got married he weighted 180. please help me to try to find an answer to this problem we are having because i can’t go on anymore because i need to held and loved. I feel so empty inside. please help me
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I am a social person,but my husband don’t like if I go out and make friends.After my marriage ,we came to USA and he told me that he don’t like me talking to my friends…so I avoided doing that and I used to feel homesick so then he started having problems with my parents and told me that after marriage a girl should forget her parents,friends and relatives and should just concentrate on his family.I am a well educated girl and belong to a respectable family and never heard anyone thinking like this in my family.We treated girls and boys equally there.if any of my neighbours comes home,he has problems but if his friends are coming then its ok,if he has to spend time with his friends its ok for him bt not for me.I am a well cultured girl and give respect and love to each and everyone in his family but still he is never considerate of my parents feelings.On one and many occasions he ignored their small-2 wishes and even shows a lot of attitude while talking to them,still my parents always treat him as their son and tries to remain cool,i feel very bad for them.I used to feel that he is bit reserved and with time things will change but now he asked me that he can only love me if I totally forget my parents and just think of his family.My parents never interfere in anything,and his parents interfere in every little matter of our life….I’ve never had a personal life with him even though they r in India,they keep track of every small thing of our life but I never complained to him about that…he discusses everything with them but not with me….I feel bad,he keep saying to me that I try to be a 21st century girl and he don’t like that,I feel very much suffocation in this relationship as I am losing my self respect and confidence.I cannot confide in him and he is never ther for me emotionally,mentally or physically but expects everything from me.I think while growing up ,he was surrounded by such environment(as he belongs to a small town) but time has changed now and so should he.I am not able to respect or trust him anymore.there are many things which I don’t like abt him but even after my pleading to him,he never changes those habbits of his.His own sister is married and still very much connected with his parents bt thats okay then why rules are different for me….I don’t know what to do…but I love my parents and I want love and a good life for my baby and myself.I am very much confused ,Please guide…
I used to love him but with time that feeling is eroding not intentionally but unintentionally……even I don’t feel good about that….I want a good and balanced life and a contentment which I am not getting…I tried many times talking to him abt it but everytime he gets aggressive and asks me to stop demanding….he is not even ready to read a book with me…i cannot even think of counselling…..he says if a person is true from his heart,then he don’t need any books for his relation to work…
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In following up from my post before, I talked to my husband at length today and he is still saying the main reason for him being unhappy right now is that I’ve let my weight get out of control. I’ve gained weight yes (40 lbs) and no I am not happy about it, but my thing is what guarantees do I get for a better husband. My argument with him was that even in the beginning of our marriage when I was thinner, I still had major issues with him not being the “man” I needed him to be in our relationship. I thought it was a matter of counseling and talking it through. When I say a “man” – I mean someone who I feel is leading our life – guiding us on our way to a future – working hard together to sort out what we need to do to be successful. Instead he gets stressed out and caves away. Understood but I can’t deal with that everytime the going gets rough. Sadly I have the daddys’ little girl syndrome when in my family stuff went bad, my father always remained calm, talked to my mom every morning and worked through it. I know we will have our rough patches but he can’t sit around and say he is dealing with a lot of stress (our credit, finances, his family and daughter from previous relationship) so he can’t put forth his best foot in our marriage but yet I have to step up and lose weight to make him happy. My belief is that at the end of the day – if I was 50 lbs lighter tomorrow, he would still be the same man. His thing is “you lose the weight and I’ll be more romantic”. He said it is the most major thing that is making him angry and that I’ve been overweight since the beginning of our marriage. So then why did he marry me? I am not even falling apart over here with him saying that b/c I feel like a beautiful person regardless and yes – I’ll lose the weight but I can’t lose weight and try to run a marriage too. He says I’m the one who ruined our finances and his credit. (i’m trying to be as transparent as possible) . He can name a long list of all the things that piss him off about me. So when I ask “why stay married” then his answer is the “well i love you”. Sadly, that has been all he can say. I’ve tried the stop nagging him, make him feel good, make him a romantic night, get in sexy clothes deal — none of it works or is recognized. Even when I was working out 24/7 2 years ago – he still wasn’t giving me what I need. But ask him for a separation or divorce – he doesn’t want it. Basically I told him I am not going ot lose weight for him. So I may be fat in our marriage for another 5 years – so what does that mean? I get punished and get no love from someone who “loves” me until I meet my end of the bargain? I don’t know how that works. Bottom line is – I may not be here tomorrow or next month or whatever – so that means I live miserably until I lose weight in time enough to make him happy. Hardest part – we are living at home with my parents – we have one car – our jobs are right next to each other. We have nothing really shared except a couple of credit cards and bank stuff. What should I do? Am I really ruining his life? Should I suck it up and lose the weight to look like how he wants me to so he can have an attractive wife he deserves? This is a man who told me he doesn’t really believe in romance. My birthday comes and I am lucky if I get a card from him. V-day comes and I’m lucky if his co-worker asks him what he plans to do for it.

I am depressed but not. I’m really just exhausted – I don’t mind smiling at funny things and living life. Just feel weighed down to do something for this man to make him happier.
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My husband is leaving for boot camp in March will he get paid extra money for being married to me. Like will I get a living allowance or a food allowance while he is in boot camp? I’m scared I won’t be able to pay my rent now that he is leaving.
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Technorati Tags: Army, Being, Extra, husband, married, money, paid

Ok, here’s the situation. You’ve been married 5, 10 or even 25 years. You are faithful both in your relationship with your spouse and your relationship with God. Your sex life with your spouse has had its peaks and it has definitely had its valleys. There are times when you have been left wondering “is there more”? Your upbringing, your values and your “hang-ups” often leave you feeling guilty for wanting more. “Is there a book or a video that can help me through this? You know, like a Christian sex guide?” There is no denying you are human and your sexual urges and desires are a part of you. You wonder if there is some sort of Christian sex guide out there with the “dos and don’ts” and is it really so bad if you “do”? The fact of the matter is that “no” it isn’t bad if you “do”. And “yes” there is a Christian sex guide that can help you take your sexual relationship with your spouse to the next level. You can be adventurous in your sexual relationship with your spouse. You can take intimacy and sex to new levels.

Here are four simple concepts to begin to open up to each other and create opportunities for new sexual experiences together.

#1 – Talk. This is your spouse. Sometimes once we claim that label, we also relinquish the idea of pursuing and wooing each other. It is okay to woo her again. You need to be keeping a little courtship going from time to time. Husbands, plan an evening of romance. A romantic table setting with dinner from a beloved restaurant, candlelight, soft music in the background. This is going to take some courage on your part. You’re going to need to step up and let her know she’s worth the effort. Set the mood, with excitement of more to come. Pursue her! Create a space that will help you both relax and de-stress from the day you have had out in the world. Create a moment to appreciate just being in each others company.

#2 – Write. Guys, this is foreign territory for most of us. But I’m telling you, your words on paper have such power and meaning for your wife. On a little card by her plate, write your feelings (or, if you’re feeling particularly brave, even a poem). You don’t need to be long or eloquent. How about this? Start with “I love you”. Our most beloved possessions are those from the heart, not the corner store. Tell her how she has changed your world. Acknowledge her gifts and her beauty. Just share something from your heart!

#3 – Touch. Your touch tells her you aren’t afraid of her or ashamed or repulsed by her. It sounds over the top but believe me, your wife has received messages from the world, and maybe even from you, that she is undesirable. Your touch begins to undo those messages. After a leisurely meal, take her hand and lead her to the couch. Share a glass of wine. Better yet, share what she loves. Keep hold of her hand and whisper to your her the same things you wrote in the card. Stroke her cheek. Share with her how you delight in touching her. Share with her how excited you are at that moment to be able to touch her and what it is doing to you.

#4 – Do. Kiss her. Gently and quickly at first. Just brush her lips. And share more touch and words. If you have reached out to her heart, if you have honoured her, the remainder of the night belongs to the moment. If making love is going to be part of the experience, don’t just rush in. Here is the kicker…ask her permission! “Honey, you are my everything. I love our life and our marriage. May I make love to you?” This is a gesture of humility and honor. You are making no assumptions. You are respecting her space and her time. You are asking for the very thing that the rest of the world just wants to take. This is the person you are married to, the person who loves you for you and judges you least of anyone on earth. Share your desire for her. Meet her needs first! She comes first. (Pardon the pun, but, dang, it works!)

Your wife is a treasure, a gift. Treat her like one. And do it without expectation of returns between the sheets. Give without expecting in return, making her your number one priority.

Technorati Tags: Christian, guide, husband, Noble, TALK, Touch, Write

I got married 2 and half years ago. we love each other . but since few months I noticed that we don’t talk much. I am very introvert person.I want to talk to people.but I can’t because I don’t know what to say. This didn’t happen when I was with my husband. but since few days I don’t understand what to talk to him. please guide me for happy married life.
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Heidi Montag: Husband Spencer Pratt Is No Longer My Manager In an unusual move, the reality star replaces her husband with a Malibu psychic to guide her career Read more on People Magazine

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I think so. I know examples of gynecologists, Lawyers and Chartered accountants. They have beautiful married life. They have synergistic effect due to each other’s knowledge. They have complimentary life styles. This also helps them in their business. Of course there are some disadvantages like even their personal life gets dominated by professional discussions. What is your opinion ?
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