married life guide

Marriage is the most important occasion in one’s life, the one which a person waits for all his life time. Often people are heard saying, that the time before and during the marriage is the most memorable times, and the life after marriage becomes a daily routine and it becomes a common routine, which the couple follows. Not everything is gifted in the way people want it, but one has to shape it according to the requirements and needs. But of course, the time period of courtship and the marriage ceremonies are said to be the most precious ones, but to turn the times after marriage into more memorable and unforgettable ones, is in the hands of the married couple. Following are some of the factors, which can help a couple in leading a happy and contended married life:

Understanding

Understanding is the most important quotient, which helps the couple, in moving on with a smooth and healthy life. Misunderstanding is the most common problem, which is faced by the couple these days. They are more prone towards playing a blame game with their partner, which at the end leads nowhere, so the couple from the starting should try and understand his or her life partner and should give equal chance of explaining the point of view of the other person.

Negative thoughts

Youth these days have become so much negative, and are always pessimistic in their approach towards life. Whenever they think about an issue, the first side they view is the negative aspects of the issue, which makes their mind, think in the negative direction always and leaves no space for positive thoughts and optimism. The wife or the husband should not allow negative thoughts to come into their relationship, which becomes the main reason of raising the question of doubt in the relationship.

Friendship

Being friends with the life partner is the best solution to counter all the problems. Friendship is the basis of all relations, if a couple shares the relation of friendship, then they are very open to each other and shares all the problems and tensions of their life with each other. If a husband or wife is the best friend to his or her life partner, then that is the best gift, one can get in his lifetime. Such couples are the blessed ones, because they need not go and find another friend for sharing their problems, they have found their best soul mate in the form of their husband or wife.

Space

These days, people want to be independent and lead their life in their own defined ways. Though, they are answerable to their life partners, but that question answer session should be confined to a limit. Lot of digging into the reasons of small- small things, lead to the rise of irritation in the married life. A bride or a groom is not always interested in sharing some things, even with his life partner, in such cases; he should be left alone and given time and space to think .Also, lot of boundations in the relationship, makes it weak and pale.

Trust

Trust goes hand in hand with understanding, which a married couple must possess in their relation. Trust does not allow any of the above discussed factors to come into the relation and spoil the couple’s life. It is in a way the foundation stone of the couple’s wedding. From the very first day of the wedding, the bride and groom must have that confidence in each other, that nobody from the external source is able to put weeds in the relation.

Thus by implementing all these points in a relation and many others depending on the couple’s bonding, a married couple, can lead a successful and joyful lifetime with each other.

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Marriage is the biggest fantasy of one’s life, it is the day which every guy or girl dreams of from the very beginning of their life. The rituals and customs related to marriages are in India, are so much filled with traditions and values, that any body when looks at them being performed, and always imagines him at the same position. Marriage is the most beautiful feeling one comes across, in his lifetime. Though, the fear involved in it for loosing you freedom as a bachelor is always there, but still the happiness behind the nervousness is unexplainatory. Marriage is usually compared with the sweet ‘laddoo’, which if one repents in both the cases, even if eaten or not. That is why our forefathers have said, better regret after eating.

Marriage is in every way the starting of a new phase of life, it is also said to be the second birth of human being. In this phase, he is made to realise the responsibilities of being a man, and is loaded with the family responsibilities. But slowly with the changing times, the value and the importance of marriage as a bond is loosing somewhere. Youngsters these days are not taking the relation of marriage seriously, in earlier days, where it was considered as a bond for seven lives, now- a- days, the life of a marriage does not even last for one birth.

Married couples, should understand the values and the sanctity involved with their bond, they should give equal contribution in leading a successful married life. Not much problems are seen in case of love marriages if the expectations are handled properly and the inflow and outflow of love and support is equally managed. Also, in love marriages, couples share a good understanding between them which helps in resolving fights and ego issues. Following are some of the tips which one should keep in mind, in case of arranged marriages before and after the marriage ceremony, to lead a happy and contended married life:

v     Before the fixation of the marriage, when the couple meets, proper time should be given to both the girl and the guy, to understand each other and test their compatibility quotient.

v     Past relations should never reflect in a person’s present and future life. The only way to get rid of all the doubts and confusions is to be crystal clear in terms of your past relations. This not only helps in earning trust, but also builds confidence of one partner on the other.

v     The courtship period, i.e. from the time of engagement to the marriage time, should be properly utilised to know each other in detail, their likes and dislikes, to help in leading a happy married life,

v     The marriage should not be attached with the dowry factor; it brings greediness, which has resulted in a lot of break- ups and divorces.

v     The couple should in every way complement each other, especially in professional terms, because being high or lower in occupational status can lead to indifference and competitiveness in the couple, which can prove to be fatal for the relation of the married couple.

v     The bride and the groom should share great understanding between each other, and should clarify each and everything, before raising questions and start getting into a fight.

v     The contribution for resolving matters should be made from both the sides, as a result of understanding shared between the couple.

v     Lot of interrogation and possessiveness from either of the sides can lead to the irritation and problems in the married life, so space should be provided by both the bride and groom to let the other person lead his own personal life.

Thus, by keeping these factors in mind and many more, one can pave his way towards a successful and happy married life.

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If you are not a happy married couple, it isn’t because you haven’t tried and it isn’t because you are not good people. Even if the first order of business is to save your marriage because of ongoing stress and painful interactions don’t imagine for even one minute that you have to live like you do now. To save your marriage you don’t have to work as hard as you think or sacrifice anything. To have people say, “There goes a happy married couple,” all you have to do is learn what marriage is all about and follow the rules of success.

Divorce is Unnatural and a Disease you Don’t have to Suffer From

Everybody knows the divorce rate is well over 50% for first time marriages, but that doesn’t make it normal. By looking at the divorce rate one would think that marriage is next to impossible, especially when you consider how many married couples are not at all happy. You can save your marriage and have an incredibly joyful marital experience for the rest of your lives just like you thought you would when you first got married. But first you have to know what to do.

Would you ever try to fly an airplane without learning about airplanes, weather, and all of the things you should know before you attempt flight? The obvious answer is no because it would be downright stupid to approach something you know very little about with cockiness that can get you killed. A marriage is the same. When you first got married you didn’t know anything about what marriage is or how to function properly within it. Just like everybody else you figured that you were smart enough to handle whatever problems came your way and no matter what it was your love would get you through; do you remember that?

The Real Problem is a Lack of ‘How to Live’ Education in our School System

Our western materialistic culture does nothing to prepare individuals for married life. There are no courses in relationships or gender differences. As a nation we simply do not know how to create a loving, synergistic family. Those who have taken responsibility for relationships, western psychologists, are trained to focus on diseases of the mind. They are always looking for a mental disorder when a couple has marital problems rather than explaining what marriage requires in terms of attitudes and behaviors.

Here are 10 things you can do to save your marriage and become a happy married couple:

Make a list of your expectations and then make sure they are expectations for you rather than your spouse Make a list of your spouse’s good qualities and remind yourself of how fortunate you are to have married them Count your blessings Put your complaints into perspective and reduce their power over you Determine that you will behave how you want your spouse to behave Tell your children how wonderful your spouse is Tell your spouse how wonderful he or she is Tell your spouse how much you love them Pray that you may see only the positives of your spouse Tell your spouse you love them again

When I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage I would give parts of it out to people to read so I could get feedback on what was affective and what was not. I was surprised by how people immediately understood what they needed to do just by reading a few words and absorbing the principles that are both spiritual and universal. You too can have the happiest marriage on the face of the earth by understanding how sweet your life can be and how to work with your marriage instead of against it. My prayers are always with you.

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Product Description
Useful information and insightful advice receive humorous treatment in this marriage survival guide that combines real-life case studies with the very latest marriage research—from several viewpoints. External influences than can impact nuptial happiness, such as money, work, and children are also discussed…. More >> Being Married: Your Guide to a Happy Modern Marriage

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Sharing how our 1 year anniversary went.

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They say that “marriages are made in heaven” and I strongly believe this fact. Marriage symbolizes the union of two souls who are committed to each other and promise to share the ups and downs of life together. There are no specific rules to keep your marriage happy. All it takes is a good level of understanding, compromises and zeal to hold on even if things get bad!

Open and truthful communication is one of the secrets of a happy married life. Communicate about how your day was. Communicate the fact that you love your spouse. Communicate your thoughts and feelings. Talk to each other like you are best friends. If your communication is strong then you can resolve all the issues or problems between you without yelling or screaming at each other.

Being ready to accept sacrifices is one secret to a joyous marriage. Both partners in the marriage must be ready to put their partner’s happiness before their own. At times the sacrifices may be big but most frequently it’s the smaller things that matter most. Don’t be rude to your spouse. Take care of her/him. If your spouse’s is feeling sad and depressed for some reason or another, plan a romantic dinner or go on a trip to an exotic location (if you have the money.)

Dedicate time to each other. One of main reasons why marriages fail is because the two individuals are too busy to find time for each other. Remember that your spouse deserves your time and attention. Even if you can’t talk to each other for hours, you can talk while lying in the bed or by taking a walk after dinner. Go out on regular dates or for a vacation when both of you have time.

Honesty and trust are two important pillars of marriage and one should always strive to keep these strong and going. So, follow these advices and have a happy married life!

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Indian marriages are wonderful and respected worldwide.

 Life on earth exists because of love .

  A child after birth loves his mother , father and siblings . nothing remarkable , one might say about such things simply because one might say it is natures rule.

 But two individuals born in two seemingly distant corners of their respective worlds, who grew up in what seems to be – at a single glance – two totally different  worlds which have little or no chance of  reconciliation, get to know each other in this journey of life and somehow , incredibly fall in love. And in this fast paced world of easy pleasure somehow a bond is forged between two souls which culminates in the wonderful phenomenon we call marriage.

v     Are you worried that you didn’t marry a person who does not have the attributes you placed on your life partner when you were single????

                  Friends , happiness in marriage doesn’t come from marrying a like minded person. Never expect your partner to be like you because in god `s creation each individual is different. So enjoy the UNIQUENESS in your spouse .

v   Do you think your partner doesn’t love you / take care of you as much as you expect ?

well  , why don’t you stop to consider  whom the problem is with ? you or your partner. Be honest with yourself . I believe the problem lies with you. Why do you expect your partner only to love you / take care of you ? why cant you do that? So ,love and don’t expect in return but just wait for it to grow in his/her heart. The best form of love is “selfless love” . just love and wait for it to grow. Happiness in marriage comes only when we are givers of love and care rather than takers of it.

v   Do you quarrel with your spouse every other day for silly things …….. say ,

         He doesn’t come back from the office in time ? or she doesn’t cook well ?

                       After all married life requires unconditional love to be happy . Its not that only if your husband comes in time or your wife cooks well you have to love them . Quarrels over silly things should help your relationship to get strengthened rather than creating a gap between the two of you.

                    Then you can enjoy those silly quarrels which might work better than nagging .

v   In your family life do you come across daily cribbings like say

                     you never come back from the office in time , why the hell did you marry me ????? , look at the neighbours possessions . see I have got nothing by marrying you , and also statements like ,you will never change …, you can never understand me ………….

          If your answer to any of these questions is yes and you have no clue what to do , why don’t you try reading on …

        consider, for that matter nobody is perfect. You cant expect your partner to be perfect. Accept the qualities which your partner has / doesn’t have. No point in cribbing about the qualities which he doesn’t have at the cost of your peace. Boost your compatibility . Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different,whereas those who are in love zero in on their similarities and celebrate their differences. Build compatibility by taking turns planning activites to do together . if you don’t like your partners choice don’t complain. She may share the feeling on your choices as well.

v   Do you repent for not expressing what you feel about your partner?

                                 Yes friends , it happens . most often our ego doesn’t  let us be expressive , Keep aside your ego , BE EXPRESSIVE.  Don’t hesitate to say what you feel to your partner , both the good and the bad , sometimes you simply might not get a second chance. All of us feel happy when the person you love tells you nice things about you . why don’t you take the time to indulge your partner? The rewards may make the ride a lot smoother and enjoyable. We do agree that some things are best left unsaid . All we are saying is that it is healthy to keep such things to a bare – we mean a really bare minimum.

v   Do u think u know everything about ur partner/ expect him to know everything about u without either of u expressing them???

You may believe u know, but u can’t assume. U may believe he should know, but that’s not fair either. Find the fact, don’t mindread. Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don’t throw u apart

Marriage is a commitment which needs an exchange of views for happy living. Mere exchange doesn’t help most of the time. Sometime it requires a change of behaviour / habits  for a healthy and happy relationship to grow. Never try to understand a woman.  Just love and care for them lots , in the same way don’t expect men to change according to your desires  accept them as they are .

Relationships begin with getting to know each other well , pushing your overinflated ego aside , developing what is initially a friendship with no domination factor . this friendship must further blossom into a relationship of trust which has compassion , care , which finally blossoms into love, that wonderful thing which makes all life beautiful.

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Divorce rate is increasing which means more and more couples are having a hard time keeping a marriage and end up in separation. Marriage is a complex relationship and you need to exert more efforts to stay married and happy. There are ups and downs in a marriage and if you do not know how to deal with it, divorce or separation might happen.

It is not impossible to stay married and happy for as long as you live because there are people who spend their lifetime being married to the same woman or man. My parents have been married for 40 years now and they are still happy and enjoying each other’s company. Marriage is a journey that they both enjoy.

Here are some tips to stay married and happy:

Respect your spouse. Marriage is not only about you but it is also about your spouse. There are two people in a marriage, understanding and respecting each other’s rights is important to stay married and happy. You do not have to argue who is right and wrong but respect to each other will help you both avoid arguments and misunderstanding.

Constant communication. The key to a strong marriage is a constant communication. If you are talking on a regular basis, you will both establish a connection and closeness through the years. Of course you will not only talk about problems or issues in your marriage but you will also talk about the joys and happiness of being married. Women are often vocal about their feelings and other issues but you should also know when to stop talking and listen more to your spouse. Men are less of a talker most of the time, it would be helpful if you become more open to express your feelings and communicate more to your spouse. Communication is the key to stay married and happy.

Loyalty and dedication. In today’s world it is very easy not to be dedicated and loyal to your spouse. There are a lot of temptations that could take your loyalty away from your spouse. It could be another woman, another man, your job and other things. Although most men and women now are career oriented, you both have to arrive at some point and ask yourself what is more important, the family or the career? When it comes to temptation with another man or woman, is it all worth it to put your marriage at risk just for another man or woman? Loyalty and dedication to your spouse could be really hard but you have to try your best to stay married and happy.

Accept your spouse weaknesses. If you love your spouse, it comes with a complete package. You love your spouse not only for their strengths but you also have to embrace their weaknesses. We are humans, we make mistakes and the most important thing is that you have the tolerance to accept those mistakes and you are beside him or her to deal with those mistakes. If you have the patience and understanding that your spouse need, then you have the chance to stay married and happy.

Sexual satisfaction. Sex is a very important aspect of any marriage and it is important that you can give the satisfaction that your spouse deserves. Accept it or not, sexual dissatisfaction is one of the reasons why some marriages don’t last. If one is not sexually satisfied, he or she might look for that satisfaction elsewhere.  To prevent this from happening, you must know your spouse desires and learn how to meet those desires. You must be open-minded to discuss sex with your spouse and be ready to learn new things to make sex more exciting and satisfying for both of you.

Marriage is a long journey that both of you should enjoy. Although marriage is not always a bed of roses, there are things that you both can do to stay married and happy through the years. If you still find it hard to keep your marriage and you are in the middle of relationship problems, do not lose hope. Discover the easy to follow strategies to save a troubled marriage visit Save My Marriage Today.

To know more about relationships visit All About Relationships.

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