married life guide

my mom wants me to divorce my husband. she says i’m wasting my life by being with him. He is an Asian and i’m a USA citizen. We both are living in Europe as he is here on a student visa. Me and my family believe that my husband married me for the only reason to get to usa. He used to cheat on me too. he was addicted to porn bt he gave it up recently. I still want to be with him i dont know i think i love him. I dont want to take a big decision such as divorce right now. I dont know may be he is not sincere with me but i still want to work this marriage out. However my mom believes that he only wants to use me for usa immigration and later he will dump me. I dont know i’m very confused. I’m planning to study here in europe so we both can stay together and will not have a issue of going either to usa or his country as long as we stay here. I dont know i feel like i wont be able to forget him. At this moment i feel divorce is hard. Wt do u say? i didnt like wt my mom said. wt i should do
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The GENUINE in laws are delightful, but there is a third party who will not back off.

Please bare with me, i am probably going to paint this as an angel vs the devil. This is the story as i view it although naturally bias towards myself, i will try to be as just and factual as possible.
I am male my partner is female, both in mid-late 20’s.
I am from a western society my fiancé is from a conservative central asian nation. I try to live a simple but disciplined life, and my partner is very contemporary for her origins [we work very well together]
My partner left her parents and moved to my Australia for educational and employment benefits. Once arrived she moved into a share house with her male cousin**(30) and his wife (27). As i believe things were happy until she met me.
Where i use my own personal ethics to guide me, he is very concerned with rules and regulations.
For example
i avoid meat for ethical reasons, he cant understand this.
He avoids premarital sex for ‘religious’ reasons, i cant understand this.
He believes a man demands respect, i believe respect can only be earned.

The more time my partner and i would spend together the more house rules he would create. In the beginning she would always agree, until i reminded her in this country someone nearing 30 is free to do whatever.
(NB: i understand that i could have a great influence over her judgement, so i would allow her to decide what she wanted)

When she started to break house rules, he would verbally attack his wife and my partner. Followed by very emotive and vague correspondence with her aging parents (my future inlaws). Her distressed parents would always contact her, and tell her not to cause trouble (as a sign of respect she would NEVER tell them the facts, nor would she disobey, even after identifying his manipulations)
In his presence the wife would always back him up, but comfort my partner and agree is a controlling misogynist.
Rules started with a midnight curfew, but soon became petty and fluid to his convenience.
One evening my partner was working late in a particularly violent area, and it was also raining, having no car herself, i collected her and dropped home, this caused great distress because she had seen me the night before.

I was not allowed to remain late in front of his kids [which i can understand] but when they holidayed interstate they would phone her to ensure that i had left on time; im not sure how this effected his kids being 2000km away. Upon them understanding i was still at the SHARE house, they flew home immediately.
When i would make plans of an evening they would repeatedly make fixed plans including my partner over the top of mine. More often than not their plans would fail to eventuate, so the couple would go to the cinema and leave my partner babysitting their children. Often she was told it is unfair on them if she has a greater social life than them.
When her auntie visited my partner was forbidden to socialise and attend the wedding as it would require hers spending the entire night with her auntie. Not being the petty type she has taken responsibility for the offence caused.

Now she is working abroad and i have had a couple of personal attacks from this gent, regarding my inferiority to him and my inappropriate behaviour. By this countries standards i am very conservative and disciplined myself.
He has accused me of having an affair with his wife, and suggested i stay away. I had visited on celebrations to give gifts to the kids. This was all in his presence, but mind you slipped an affair in at these times. Being all that i am, i can still be asked for a monetary loan.
After suggesting i stay away he announces to her family that i am shunning them.
I don’t know what to do.
My partners sentiments are similar to mine, but she fears standing up to him. We are planning on purchasing a house soon, and marrying next year or beyond. This, he has already disallowed, and we both believe he will manipulate her parents’ understanding of the situation.

As far as we feel, he has pushed himself beyond his boundaries (possibly because he was allowed). But as a older male (by 2 years) she automatically feels he is wise enough to be obeyed. She does obey.
Should i make a stand to him? this will most likely cause her parents to disapprove of me
Should we both ignore him? This will cause great shame to her parents and their family
Should i expect her to make a stand? I don’t know how that would unravel
I just don’t know, please help

**in their terms they refer to each other as brother/sister, although no family links. I used the term cousin as this is how i would consider the level of closeness.
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Technorati Tags: advice, cross, cultural, having, inherited, Laws, trouble

Please bare with me, i am probably going to paint this as an angel vs the devil. This is the story as i view it although naturally bias towards myself, i will try to be as just and factual as possible.
I am male my partner is female, both in mid-late 20’s.
I am from a western society my fiancé is from a conservative central asian nation. I try to live a simple but disciplined life, and my partner is very contemporary for her origins [we work very well together]
My partner left her parents and moved to my Australia for educational and employment benefits. Once arrived she moved into a share house with her male cousin**(30) and his wife (27). As i believe things were happy until she met me.
Where i use my own personal ethics to guide me, he is very concerned with rules and regulations.
For example
i avoid meat for ethical reasons, he cant understand this.
He avoids premarital sex for ‘religious’ reasons, i cant understand this.
He believes a man demands respect, i believe respect can only be earned.

The more time my partner and i would spend together the more house rules he would create. In the beginning she would always agree, until i reminded her in this country someone nearing 30 is free to do whatever.
(NB: i understand that i could have a great influence over her judgement, so i would allow her to decide what she wanted)

When she started to break house rules, he would verbally attack his wife and my partner. Followed by very emotive and vague correspondence with her aging parents (my future inlaws). Her distressed parents would always contact her, and tell her not to cause trouble (as a sign of respect she would NEVER tell them the facts, nor would she disobey, even after identifying his manipulations)
In his presence the wife would always back him up, but comfort my partner and agree is a controlling misogynist.
Rules started with a midnight curfew, but soon became petty and fluid to his convenience.
One evening my partner was working late in a particularly violent area, and it was also raining, having no car herself, i collected her and dropped home, this caused great distress because she had seen me the night before.

I was not allowed to remain late in front of his kids [which i can understand] but when they holidayed interstate they would phone her to ensure that i had left on time; im not sure how this effected his kids being 2000km away. Upon them understanding i was still at the SHARE house, they flew home immediately.
When i would make plans of an evening they would repeatedly make fixed plans including my partner over the top of mine. More often than not their plans would fail to eventuate, so the couple would go to the cinema and leave my partner babysitting their children. Often she was told it is unfair on them if she has a greater social life than them.
When her auntie visited my partner was forbidden to socialise and attend the wedding as it would require hers spending the entire night with her auntie. Not being the petty type she has taken responsibility for the offence caused.

Now she is working abroad and i have had a couple of personal attacks from this gent, regarding my inferiority to him and my inappropriate behaviour. By this countries standards i am very conservative and disciplined myself.
He has accused me of having an affair with his wife, and suggested i stay away. I had visited on celebrations to give gifts to the kids. This was all in his presence, but mind you slipped an affair in at these times. Being all that i am, i can still be asked for a monetary loan.
After suggesting i stay away he announces to her family that i am shunning them.
I don’t know what to do.
My partners sentiments are similar to mine, but she fears standing up to him. We are planning on purchasing a house soon, and marrying next year or beyond. This, he has already disallowed, and we both believe he will manipulate her parents’ understanding of the situation.

As far as we feel, he has pushed himself beyond his boundaries (possibly because he was allowed). But as a older male (by 2 years) she automatically feels he is wise enough to be obeyed. She does obey.
Should i make a stand to him? this will most likely cause her parents to disapprove of me
Should we both ignore him? This will cause great shame to her parents and their family
Should i expect her to make a stand? I don’t know how that would unravel
I just don’t know, please help

**in their terms they refer to each other as brother/sister, although no family links. I used the term cousin as this is how i would consider the level of closeness.
im sorry that was a little cluttered and all over the place, i just had a lot to say, quickly
thankyou adelya
i just dont understand why he manipulates stories and rules change to suit him.

for example his western wife is forbidden from talking with me (because he thinks we are having an affair)
but he will stay out most of the night drinking with his ex-partner.
this isn’t an east-west thing, both have there strengths and failings. i just dont think someone should go to a new country and turn it into where they came from.

i hope you dont suffer from the same issues as i
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Technorati Tags: advice, cross, cultural, please, Relationship, some

i have an online friend whom i know since 5 years. both of us are married. we were in the different countries but then my hubby got transfered from job to the place where my online friend lives. after settling down we met online then i insisted him to meet somewhere. on the same afternoon we met and went for a long drive. it was my first time i was with stranger. we were holding our hands while he was driving. we kissed (french kiss) in the car at parking lot. we enjoyed that moment of ectasy , then he dropped me home. since then i cant forget that moment. after that afternoon we never met. once in a while he comes online. seeing him online my heart beat increases. his thoughts his passionate kiss always disturbs my mind. my sex relations with my hubby is disturbed. i am trying to forget him but cannot. show me the proper way so i get rid of all this. .Soon is my wedding anniversary. shall i confess about all this to my husband? please guide me…..thank you
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22 minutes ago
actually i love my hubby very much its being 12 years of our marriage. i am very scared to confess. is there anyother suggestion apart from confessing?
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Flirting is natural and automatic for many sexual beings. Sometimes whether men and women are married or not they still flirt with other people. Being married and flirting is on the rise and many people have no apologies to make whatsoever. Some married people do it with no bad intentions. They do not count flirting as cheating on their spouses. Some of the most valued flirting advice is that the flirting words should be with a light touch just incase they fall in to deaf ears. If the targeted person receives the word with contempt, you can always save your face from shame. One of the flirting secrets is that people who explain their words or apologize after flirting produce less successful flirting results.

What are the implications of married and flirting men or women? Some people view this behavior as harmless. After all, is it a crime to find a girl beautiful and tell her so? Or is it wrong for a woman to dress attractively and use her God given feminine wiles? So is it a big deal if the person happens to be married? The flirting secrets reveal that, people who are married and flirting actually have stronger marriages. A good flirting advice is, flirt while you can. Do not be limited by your being married. A man is flirtatious towards a woman to make her notice him, to attract her and may be to ask her out for a date. My flirting advice for ladies is that, flirt to attract his attention and enjoy a good time but not for long term relationship.

My flirting advice is, do not be affected by your flirting spouse. Look at the positive side of the behavior. For instance, if a guy happens to flirt with your endeared wife and she flirts back, you should be proud that your wife is attractive enough to attract another guy. This will make you realize that you had better pull up your socks. If you are married and flirting you most definitely know your worth. This helps you not to let people take you for granted. Among the flirting secrets is that, the people who flirt most are the best lovers to their partners. This is because in their process of flirting they learn a lot about appreciation and they observe first hand reaction of flirting. A man who is flirtatious will always admire and appreciate his wife because he knows that if he fails some else will.

There are some situations where people who are married and flirting forgiven. This is a category of people who are born to flirt. Flirting does not stop even after marriage and flirting is considered to be their second nature. Whatever they say is laughed off and is actually taken with a pinch of salt. Flirting advice is, do not hide it from your spouse if you do not mean any harm. If your husband flirts with a close friend or a relative in your full view, you will not have much problem since you will understand it is in jest. When people flirt when they are in an extravagant mood after taking a drink it is perfectly acceptable. One of the best flirting secrets is that, the best time you are allowed to flirt is when you are drunk. Take advantage of the drink and flirt exhaustively.

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There isn’t much to offer in terms of advice on dating a married man, but what you need to know is that there are ways to cope while you sneak around with a married man. Surely anyone who knows you has already told you that he is never going to leave his wife, and they have probably called you a few terrible names. Unfortunately they are right about him not leaving his wife, but luckily for you we have prepared this advice on dating a married man that can make your time together less stressful and a bit more relaxed.

Don’t Talk Family

First off, do not talk about family; either his or yours or even the off chance of a future family. This probably seems extreme considering you are dating this guy, but talking about what goes on in his home only reminds you that you will never be the ‘public woman’ he takes out. Allowing him to indulge about issues with his wife or kids makes him feel better, while you feel terrible about dating a married man. Your conversations should include current events, careers, and your relationship. Feel free to talk about your family and life in general but the most important advice on dating a married man is to make this your number one rule. Otherwise a bad situation becomes worse when you resent him for a family you knew about when you got involved with him. You also have to realize that no matter what happens in the future his family will always remain a constant in his life, so it is best not to start out resenting them in any manner.

Take a Long Weekend

When it comes to advice on dating a married man, time together is always a major issue. Because he already has other obligations, finding time for you is often not a top priority. Another rule that should be set at the beginning is that you get a weekend away once each month. You will begin to feel uncomfortable if you only meet up in hotel rooms or sleazy dark bars. A nice weekend away allows you to spend your time without fear and you can enjoy being a couple in public. Whether you let him in on your reasoning is up to you, but a weekend away should be non-negotiable.

Date Other People

Before you get all huffy on me, you should know that dating other people will force you to define your relationship. Your married man will get jealous and you can discuss what future you have together, if any and or which direction you should take. Another option is that you begin to realize that your friends’ advice on dating a married man was 100% accurate. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and no reason for you to play second fiddle to another woman’s husband. Dating other people will allow you to begin dating again with the security of having (sort of) a significant other.

For more advice on dating a married man check out our free guide.

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I am getting married in September; my fiancee and I want to go to a Caribbean Island or Mexico. I keep hearing horror stories about Caribbean weather for that time of year, which I was aware of. September is the best time for us to get married and we want our Honeymoon immediately after our wedding. Seems like it is truly a crap shoot (for lack of a better word) for anywhere I have researched so far weather wise. Besides for over-priced Aruba- can any seasoned Caribbean traveler console me and guide me of where I should be looking into for this much anticipated event?
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Man is searching for Happiness, prays, travels and accept ;Gurus’. I wnt it now.
I am 75, live in India, travelled around the world, happily married, for 40 years. I have 2 wonderful sonand daughter. Reasonably well off. Now relaxing on theinternet, kept diary for last 43 years, and looking forward to a productive , graceful, and useful ageing.
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